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Subject:ATTENTION!
Time:01:39 pm
 Funny picture operations have moved here. The Tumblr will be a collection of pictures and topics for which I will make short, humorous gripes. Thanks and apologies to plainiac for inspiring my username. Anything serious or sincere will still be posted here. Check it out!
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Time:02:48 pm
     I used to have a very strong need to express myself. This journal, as you may remember, began as a home to my often-failed attempts at humorous rants, then turned into a home for my often depressing series of autobiographical comics, and now I post funny pictures. Every so often I'd write a movie or book review, and more often still I'd write something like this commenting on the state of this journal itself.
     Somewhere, though, I've lost the desire to express myself. I feel like the need is very much there, but in the majority of occasions where an idea strikes me, I strike it down with a greater force. What's the point? Who cares? I'm can say with utmost certainly that I am a much less creative person than I was a few years ago, as I haven't had the desire to pick up a pen or pencil and draw anything in almost two years. I don't feel the need to write about the movies I like or hate, and would much rather post one-sentence vague status updates on Facebook about how I'm doing than explore my actual feelings and conditions on Livejournal.

     I suppose I could blame my lethargy to the schedule and stress of work, but I've also argued that having a job and keeping myself busy has kept me, in some ways, from being depressed. The only days where I spend the majority of my time in bed with the windows drawn are weekends, where I often have either nothing to do or, if an opportunity arises, no desire to do it. And yet, come Monday, I dread having actually business to attend to. The patten as of late has been to spend five days of the week anxious and occupied and two days bored and depressed.

    
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Current Music:The Mynabirds - Numbers Don't Lie | Powered by Last.fm
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Subject:zip zap rap
Time:01:18 pm


numbers don"t lieCollapse )
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Subject:Shaq Panda
Time:03:05 pm




Read more...Collapse )
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Subject:Annoying Phrases
Time:02:33 pm
One phrase that has been bothering me for a while is when people say, usually via status updates on Facebook or away messages, that they are "with the boyfriend/husband/(term for significant other)."

No, you are with your boyfriend. Actually, the grammar isn't even what bothers me, nor is the objective quality that the boyfriend in question takes by changing the possessive pronoun "my" into a definite article "the." What bothers me about this annoying phrase is that only annoying people use it. Much like how only annoying people use the word "random" to describe a quality of humor.

My best guess as to why this applies to these two examples are as follows:

1) A person who says "the boyfriend" rather than "my boyfriend" is just as likely to say "the dog," although the latter phrase is more understandably impersonal. One who likens their boyfriend to a dog is a shallow, annoying person.

2) A person who uses "random" to describe why something is funny is likely to be uncreative and shallow and will laugh at anything for any reason. One who laughs at anything is an annoying person.

Sorry, it just had to be said.
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Subject:You's a nasty girl ain't cha?
Time:01:38 pm


I"m fixin" to go try this at homeCollapse )

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Subject:Desperation
Time:01:51 pm
I work at a comedy club.

Guy calls around noon.
"Hello?"
He tells me he wants to be a comedian. Great. We get calls like this all the time. In a recession, everyone wants to be a comic. They either have an abundance of pent up rage or they think it's an easy path to riches. It's not. This guy fell under the latter category.
He asks if we had "auditions" for comics.
"Well, no but we do have an Open mic program that we can sign you up for. Our next Open Mic is on November 24th..."
He said he needed something sooner. This is how we wants to make money, and if he waits until November he won't have any income.
"You need to understand that it takes years and years for comics to make any money, let alone a living. You have to do Open Mics from club to club, city to city for years and if maybe you're good enough you can work as an emcee from night to night, week to week and maybe if you're good at that you can be a feature act and so forth."
Keep in mind that the above description almost never happens. In the two years I've been working here I've seen maybe two people go from doing Open Mic to feature work--"feature" here refers to an opening act--and even those people are still mostly working locally. You will not make money doing this.
He asked to sign up for the November 24th show.
He said his act was around 12 minutes.
"You'll need to cut that in half."

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Subject:Teen Creeps
Time:02:07 pm


Teen creeps get what they want and me Collapse )

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Time:10:06 pm
 
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Subject:So I actually accomplished something?
Time:07:13 pm
 So, thanks in part to my pal Domenick, I am now a contributor for Creative Loafing! Anyway, long story short, here is my first film review:


blogs.creativeloafing.com/dailyloaf/2009/08/12/movie-review-the-time-travelers-wife-starring-eric-bana-and-rachel-mcadams/

It's not in the print edition, but if you do pick it up my name is in the inside cover underneath the big photo of Eric Bana's head. Enjoy!

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[icon] Butthole Sandwich
View:Recent Entries.
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View:Website (My last.fm).
You're looking at the latest 10 entries.
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